All The Broken Pieces of My Heart
by ForeverFallen304
Summary: Unrequited love? Forbidden love? Betrayal? Ignoring all others for the selfish want for ones own happiness? By the time you realize it, everything has gone wrong. Will anyone find happiness? Zack-Cloud-Irvine-Squall-Riku OC BL adult themes, crossover
1. Intro

No matter how hard I try

I cannot seem to find

All the pieces of your heart

The missing pieces in mine

No matter what I do

I can never take back what I did

When I broke your heart to pieces

I cant fix you

Anymore than I can fix myself

Because…

Even though I went after my own happiness

When I broke your heart

I broke mine as well

When our lives collided in ways

That shattered you to pieces

You took a good part of me with you

Now our shattered pieces are mixed together on the ground

Impossible to separate

Impossible to fix

I don't mind

Because I deserve this pain

But you don't seem to mind yours

And I think that's because

All you ever really wanted

Was to be inseparable

To be together 'til the end of time

You wanted that connection

But not like this

But that's what you got

Pain, sorrow, regrets

That is how we are connected

Love, happiness, beautiful memories

That's how you wanted it to be

'_Be careful what you wish for_

_You might just get it_'

Those words never felt so true

As they do now

For I wished for my own happiness

My wants, dreams, and desires

You were never a part of these

And what happened to you?

When all my dreams came true?

You were shattered to pieces.

And I'm sorry you had to pay for my happiness with your own

I'm sorry I broke us in ways we cant fix

I'm sorry…

Because I did this to you

All the broken pieces of my heart…

They're yours too.

* * *

Basically this is how everone will feel by the end of this story...

I hope this little thing helped you get all good and angsty for the story**  
**


	2. Chapter 1: Zack Mistakes

All The Broken Pieces

Of My Heart

_Chapter 1: Zack - Mistakes _

"_I'm sorry Zack…"_

Zack drained another glass of liquor. It was no good, it wasn't nearly enough. He could still hear the blonde's voice. He could still feel the pain, every time his heart beat.

"Another." Zack commanded the bartender.

The raven haired woman eyed him uneasily before moving to fill the man's glass once again. Zack moved to take the glass when a hand moved in front of his blocking the path to the glass, stopping him. Before he could recover enough of himself to turn to the owner of the opposing hand, a familiar voice spoke, "I think you had enough, Zack."

Zack looked up to find his auburn haired friend at his side.

He was wearing a brown sleeveless top, that was showing his shapely figure rather well; along with a pair of simple fitting denim jeans and his never absent ebony cowboy hat. He was standing his full 6ft at the bar, one hand blocking him from his drink, the other at his side as his blue eyes bored into Zack's own.

He sighed when Zack said nothing in response and asked, "What are you doing here, Zack? What's wrong?"

Finally coming back into himself and processing what his friend was saying Zack turned away mumbling, "I don't want to talk about it." _I just want to forget…_

"Zack…" his friend started exasperatedly.

"No, Irvine, just…forget it…just leave me alone tonight." taking the glass Irvine had been blocking from him and pressing it to his lips mumbled, "_let me forget…_"

_let me forget it all: this pain from my heart being broken in two… I cant bare it…Why Cloud? Why…?_

Zack drain his glass and called over the bartender again.

"Why wont you talk to me, Zack? What happened? Why are drinking like this? Its not like you…"

Zack only glanced at his friend, doing his best to ignore his presence completely as the raven hair woman, another friend whom had tried earlier to consul him, came over.

"Just leave the bottle." Zack informed the woman, Tifa.

She hesitated, and looked to Irvine but before any exchange could be made between the two, Zack swiftly took the bottle and poured himself another glass and drain it dry, all within the same movement, and then he repeated it.

Zack could feel Irvine's eyes on him, after Tifa had left, watching him as he downed one drink after another. He felt ashamed for turning to alcohol like this to sooth himself, but he could think of nothing else. Nothing else that would drowned or at least numb the pain in his heart, besides this…but it had yet to do so. Thus Zack continued to drink one glass after another until he realized there was nothing left and he could no longer see clearly.

Could he feel? No, he felt nothing but his light dizziness caused from his excessive drinking. He laughed, it was nice… It didn't hurt. He couldn't even remember the reason he was so sad before. It was bliss…

"Zack…Zack!"

Zack turned as he felt someone roughly shake him by his shoulders and calling to him. He found a blurred figure. After a moment of waiting for his vision to clear, he realized it was Irvine in front of him. He couldn't remember when he had come or why but he was happy to see him. They could go have fun. Laugh and joke as always. Then Zack blinked and realized Irvine was speaking to him so he began to tune into it.

"…go now. Zack? I think you've had enough, now… are you paying attention, Zack? Do you hear me?"

Zack smiled at Irvine goofily, "Yeah I can hear you, Irviii. Soo, you wanna go out somewhere? We could to karaoke and go hit on some girls-"

"No Zack, the only place your going is home and I'm going to bring. Lets go." Irvine got up and moved to pull Zack to his feet by his arm. Zack clumsily made it to his feet smiling drunkly at Irvine, "So you wanna hang at my place? Soundsss guud."

"Sure…"

Irvine pulled one of Zack's arms over his shoulder and began to help him out of the bar. About everything after that was a blur and then blank…

* * * * * *

The Next Morning

The warm morning light woke Zack from his sleep. He opened his eyes slowly but as soon as the light hit them, his head began to pound. "Argh!" Zack covered his eyes and came to the conclusion: yes, he was indeed hung-over.

Giving up on covering his eyes to get ride of his pounding headache, Zack removed his arm and looked about himself. He was home, he was in his bed but…how? He had a pretty good feeling he hadn't gotten there on his own, if his pounding head was much to go by. Zack glanced down at himself and noticed his shirt was off and curiosity getting the better of him, he lifted the covers and released he was completely naked. Zack quickly covered himself back up, about to freak right there when he noticed something else… He felt…gross. He lifted the covers again and noticed he had come over his lower regions, Zack went wide eye.

_What the…did I bring someone home and-_

He broke off in mid-thought when he noticed another substance mixed within the come and around it… He looked closer lifting the covers more and noticed the substance was…**blood.**

Zack could feel panic rising with him.

_D…Did I…hurt someone?_

Zack touched his head uneasily and looked around his room for some evidence toward what his suspicions were.

"Oh. I'm surprised you up already."

Zack eyes went wide as he turned and saw his friend Irvine in his doorway. He had a glass of water in one hand, the other held something as well, and he was dressed in Zack clothing.

He didn't look hurt but…could he have?

_No…no…please tell me I didn't…_

"Did…something happen last night, Irvine?" Zack asked, his tone sounded as worried as he felt…he felt a little sick as well. It wasn't all the hangover, he knew that much.

Irvine had made his way over to the bed by the time he had responded, "Yeah, you got plastered."

Zack face grew warm, he still couldn't believe he had don't something so _stupid_ to numb his pain. It may have worked for that little bit of time but now…look where he was. He may just have hurt on of his closets friends in one of the worst ways. He needed to know. Did he do it? So he went on and rephrased his question, "No, I mean, I remember that but…did something happen afterwords? Did I do something to you?"

Zack thought he saw Irvine's eyes widen a bit at that, in surprise it seemed, but then went back to a neutral, serious face. Irvine was never this serious, unless the situation called for it. …did the situation call for it?

"No, you dragged me down into a puddle on the way here and then passed out when we got here. If that's what you meant by _do something to me_, then yeah. But no, nothing happened." Irvine handed Zack the water and, what turned out to be pills, in the other hand, "Here take those, you're hung-over, and probably feel pretty awful."

Zack took both from Irvine and just examined the water as he thought about it.

_Maybe nothing happened…maybe I'm overreacting…_

Zack tried hard to remember even the slightest of what had happened the night before, but got nothing… But then he remember something from this morning, the blood. There was no way that blood got there without a reason…and Zack could only think of one.

Zack shot his head back up to Irvine. "You're lying! Something did happen."

Irvine blinked at him and replied, "No, Zack, nothing happened. Just take the medicine."

"Please tell me what I did, Irvine. Please?"

"_Nothing_ happened, Zack! Just take the freakin pill!"

Zack stopped and just watched Irvine for a moment.

_Something happened…_

He thought as he took the medicine Irvine had given him, setting the glass to the side when he finished.

_And I need to know what…_

He looked back to Irvine, wearily and asked, "Irvine…Did…I rape you?"

Irvine just blinked in utter shock then shook his head and turned to leave, "Don't be stupid."

"Irvine!" Zack called after him.

Irvine turned at the doorway to the room, "Nothing happened that I didn't want!"

He paused for a moment then went on in a calmer tone, "I'm fine. We had sex, no big deal."

Zack frowned at him, "There's blood on my blankets."

"…So it got a little rough. I'm a guy, I can take it."

"I hurt you."

"I'm _fine_."

Zack looked down ashamed. Then he gripped on his hair in frustration, "Shiva, I so sorry, Irvine…I'm like the biggest ass ever…"

"No stop that. You're making me feel awful."

Zack just continued to sit there with his head down.

_I am the worst person alive…the worst friend…_

Irvine went on after long pause, "Look Zack. I have work today. I need to get going or else I'm going to be late. Nothing happened besides some casual drunken sex between friends. I'm fine. Now…just take care of your self and I'll call you soon."

Zack looked up to find Irvine giving him a smile, that he just knew wasn't real. As Irvine turned from him to make his way to the door, Zack noticed he was walking awkwardly…

Irvine left through the front door and was gone.

Zack sighed in exasperation, gripping his hair and lowering his head,

"What have I done?"

* * *

the first half of this section of the story - Zack and Irvine  
In the next half you will see what happened through Irvine's POV

There is alot to come. I hope someone may take interest in this story. Though it will be full of angst.

Take care all. And please review. I'd like to know your thoughts as always ^^


	3. Chapter 2: Irvine Pain

I want to thank TheCupcakeMonster for the reviews you did on the first two chapters ^^ I may not have upload this one so soon otherwise. I'm very glad someone likes this story. Thanks again! Now...onto the angst...

* * *

_All The Broken Pieces_

_Of My Heart_

Chapter 2: Irvine - Pain

Flashing lights, loud music, people laughing, desperately trying to talk to each other over the thundering sound of the music. Yes, the party was booming and Irvine was loving every minute. He loved socializing, loved to party, not so much the drinking as just the pure exhilaration of the moment. He loved feeling alive, he loved just being around a bunch of carefree people all just trying to have a good time. He just loved it.

He had only been there a little over an hour before receiving a call from his friend Axel. He was currently busying himself with flirting with a beautiful girl but he excused himself from her and moved to a more quite part of the room before trying to hear what Axel was trying to tell him.

"Alright. Now what is it, Axel? Aren't you at work right now?"

"_Yeah, that's what I was trying to tell you. Zack's down here and he's getting himself damn near wasted. He wont talk to anyone and seems depressed. Tifa's tried talking to him herself but all he does is ask for more to drink. I cant get out of the kitchen to even try. I'm barricaded in dishes and orders. I was hoping you could come down here and talk to him or at least get him home safely. Do you think you could do that man? Sorry, you were the first person I thought of who might be able to get through to him."_

"No, its fine, Axel. I'll be there in a minute, just make sure he stays there."

"_Yeah, No problem. Thanks, Irvine."_

"No problem, Axel. I'll see you in a few." Irvine closed his phone with an apprehensive sigh. He had no idea what happened, but whatever it was, must have been bad to get Zack to be this depressed about it.

_...I wonder if it had something to do with Cloud..._

***

It didn't take Irvine long to walk down to the local bar that he, Zack, and their friends usually hung out at. Irvine had walked since earlier he had decided that, since he was going out to that party, he wasn't going to risk driving home after drinking. Thus he had walked to the party and was why he was now walking to the bar.

Irvine had had close to nothing to drink so far, besides half a beer. Partly glad for the fact so he would be sober enough to help Zack and actually know what's going on.

He pushed open the door to the bar and looked around before his eyes found the raven haired man that he had been seeking.

He looked absolutely miserable: his eyes were downcast, shoulders slumped forward, his hand waiting for Tifa to place the next shot glass into his awaiting hand.

After receiving his drink he drained it quickly and placed back down immediately asking for another. Irvine moved quickly over to Zack as Tifa hesitantly refilled the small glass. Irvine came up to Zack's side as he began to reach for his drink and promptly moved one of his own hands in the way of Zack's.

"I think you had enough, Zack."

Zack looked up to Irvine, his blue eyes clouded from his drunkenness but read nothing besides partial recognition of him. He sighed when Zack said nothing and asked, "What are you doing here, Zack? What's wrong?"

Seeming to finally start processing what Irvine was saying to him Zack turned away from him with a closed off expression as he mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Zack…" Irvine started exasperatedly. He knew Zack was already pretty badly drunk and from his actions seemed to be very hurt but without Zack speaking to him to tell him what's wrong, he was at a lost as to how to help him. But, even though he Zack said nothing, he couldn't push the feeling that it had something to do with the young blonde the raven haired youth was so clearly fond of. No matter how much the fact hurt him, it was true, Zack was very fond of Cloud and the blonde never took notice of him.

"No, Irvine, just…forget it…just leave me alone tonight." taking the glass Irvine had been blocking from him and pressed it to his lips mumbling, "_let me forget…_"

Irvine looked worriedly to his friend, unsure still of how to help him.

Zack drained the glass and called Tifa over again for a refill.

"Why wont you talk to me, Zack? What happened? Why are drinking like this? Its not like you…"

Zack barley spared him as much as a glance as he ignored Irvine's questions and turned back to speak to Tifa instead, informing her to leave the bottle this time.

Tifa glance to Irvine hesitantly before Zack snatch the bottle from her hands pouring himself another drink and draining it in the same instant. And he repeated this pattern until the bottle was empted.

Tifa had to leave to tend to another customer and Irvine was left at a loss as to how he could stop or help Zack. So he watched helplessly as his friend downed the entire bottle of alcohol that was most like 100 proof of whatever it was.

Finally the bottle was empted and Irvine felt a pinged of relief at the thought that he might be able to pull Zack away from the bar now, but when he saw Zack sway, almost falling out of his stool, the relief faded and was replaced with the worry that he may have drunken far too much.

"Zack…Zack!"

Irvine grabbed Zack and pulled him back onto the stool before he could hit the floor. Zack laughed giddily, drunkenly as he moved to lay his head on the bar but Irvine grabbed him by the shoulders before he could do so and began to shake him and call to him trying to get his attention. Once he saw Zack's glazed eyes meet his, he stopped, and Zack only smiled at him. Once Irvine thought he had at least a part of whatever left of Coherent Zack's attention, he began, "Alright. You there, Zack? Okay, I think you should put that bottle down. Good boy. Now, Zack, I think it's time go now. Zack? I think you've had enough, now… are you paying attention, Zack? Do you hear me?"

Zack smiled at Irvine goofily, "Yeah I can hear you, Irviii. Soo, you wanna go out somewhere? We could to karaoke and go hit on some girls-"

"No Zack, the only place your going is home, and I'm going to bring you. Lets go." Irvine got up and moved to pull Zack to his feet by his arm. Zack clumsily made it to his feet smiling drunkenly at Irvine, "So you wanna hang at my place? Soundsss guud."

"Sure…"

Irvine pulled one of Zack's arms over his shoulder and began to help him out of the bar. He looked to Tifa and nodded at her to show her that he had Zack, so she would know he would be fine.

Not wanting to dally long, he quickly made his way through the small crowd in the bar and out, half pulling, half carrying Zack along.

Luckily Zack's apartment was only about two blocks away from the local bar; _Seventh Heaven _was it's name. So Irvine wasn't really worried about having to bring Zack that far.

The bar belonged to Tifa and, another friend, Barret. They've had it for about two years now and It had become the place their friends all came to hangout; whether it was to hangout for a meal during the day or to have a few friendly drinks at night. But it seemed Zack found this place perfect for drowning his sorrows that seemed all but gone within the plastered self he was now. Irvine looked down to his plastered friend to notice him staring at him. Irvine raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"

Zack watched him a moment more with his glazed eyes before smiling and commenting, "You look hot tonight, Irvi."

Irvine blinked a few times at his friend and then blushed severely, turning away. Though Zack was drunk out of his mind and would probably think a dog was hot about now, Irvine couldn't keep himself from blushing anymore than he could stop the quickening beat of his heart. It sucked to be in love with one of your closest friends, especially when that friend was already in love with another. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn't notice your feelings if you threw them at him tied to a brick, for he was far too oblivious. Not that it was all Zack's fault either though, it wasn't as though Irvine _was_ ever that obvious or open with his feelings for him. They would forever remain at a standstill as friends…nothing more.

"…Whatever." was all Irvine replied in return as he continued moving forward, carrying Zack along.

_It's not like he really meant it…_

And then it started to pour.

"Fuck." Irvine cursed under his breath. They were still about a block away and it wasn't like Zack would be moving any faster. And now he had to worry about his drunk companion getting a cold.

"C'mon, Zack. Lets get going, we're going to get soaked." Irvine tried pulling Zack along more quickly.

Zack just watch Irvine, as he stumbled along, and smiled at the way Irvine's cloths soaked in the pouring rain, "Too late~" he said. Then Zack slipped and pulled Irvine with him to the ground and into a deep puddle.

Irvine cursed again, feeling that he was soaked threw to his underwear and assumed so was Zack. Irvine turned to him irritatedly, "No, _now_ its too late." Irvine grumbled a bit more and got to his feet, whipping away from stray mud on his clothing before reaching down and pulling Zack back onto his feet and pulling an arm over his shoulder.

"Hey, Irvii?"

"Yeah?" Irvine grumbled in response, feeling a little relief as the turned onto Zack's street

"Your all wet…"

Irvine sighed and turned to him, "I noticed… and so are you."

They made it to the complex without any more incidents. They reached Zack's apartment and Irvine let himself in with the key Zack had given him once before, and pulled Zack along with him in. He shut and locked the door and pulled Zack into his bedroom and sat him on the floor.

"Wait here a minute." Irvine said to him, holding up a finger to prove his point and to try and get him to stay, as he turned and left Zack. He went to Zack's bathroom and grabbed a few towels and made his way back. To his relief Zack was sitting on the floor, at the foot of the bed, just where he had left him.

Irvine placed a towel on the bed then moved to Zack and pulled him up and to the bed to sit him down onto the towel.

"One sec." Irvine said turning from him to grab a towel for himself. He tossed his hat to the side, pulled his hair out of the pony tail, pulled off his own shirt, and began to dry himself off. After he finished he pulled his hair back again and removed his pants and boxes, finishing drying himself off. Then he went to Zack's dresser and pulled out two pairs of boxers and pull one pair on him self, he knew Zack wouldn't mind him borrowing a pair, before grabbing the other and turning to make his way over to Zack. He noticed Zack's eyes right on him when he turned.

"Where you watching me this whole time?"

"Yeah…"

Irvine blushed and shook his head as he went to Zack setting the boxers to the side and moving to pull off Zack's shirt.

"You know its rude to watch people when they change." Irvine comment as he pulled Zack's shirt off over his head. Zack only looked at him blankly. Irvine sighed and moved to grab the other spare towel and began to dry off Zack's hair.

"So, are you going to tell me why you were so upset."

"…Upset? I'm nawt upset." Irvine pulled the towel off of Zack's head and noticed he was smiling goofily again.

"Well, you were…" Irvine moved on and started to dry off Zack's chest, blushing slightly from doing so.

"I was?"

Irvine sighed and moved onto drying his arms and back, "Yeah but I guess you don't remember at the moment, huh?"

Zack got quiet and Irvine looked up to him a little surprised from the silence. He found Zack looking off as though he was deep in thought about something painful.

"Zack?"

Zack looked up to Irvine, not really seeing him.

"Hello? Zack? Anyone home?" he knocked lightly on Zack's head. When Zack only continued to stare at him blankly, he sighed and pushed Zack down onto the bed and moved to removed Zack's pants and boxers, doing his best not to look as he did so. He did a quick dry of Zack's legs and tossed the towel in Zack's lap as he moved to grab the boxers. Irvine bent to his knees to put the boxers on Zack as Zack suddenly moved to sit back up and was again staring at Irvine. Irvine didn't notice this at first, only taking in the fact that Zack had his feet pressed to the floor making it difficult for him to lift them. He looked up to comment but then noticed Zack sitting there staring.

"Zack-"

"I love you." Zack bent down and pulled a wide-eyed Irvine to him and kissed him longingly, and a bit sloppily. Irvine tried to pull back but as Zack kept a hand to the back of his head holding him there and moving the other to the small of Irvine's back, to pulling him closer, between his legs, Irvine tried to pull away, but part of him couldn't resist melting into the embrace. The arms that where once pushing Zack away, now laid limply against him.

Zack pulled Irvine up onto his lap, straddling him, and then moved so Irvine fell onto the pillows and Zack was over him. The towel had fallen away, and Irvine had dropped the boxers he hand once been holding. He laid there, staring wide eyed, as Zack leaned down for another kiss.

"Zack-mmph!" Irvine tried to turn away from the kiss, break it, but Zack held him in place, with his hands on his face. Zack licked Irvine's lips and, when he gasped surprise, began to kiss him deeply.

Irvine pushed on Zack's shoulders, trying to push him away, but to no avail. Then one of Zack's hands moved from Irvine's face to cup and grope at his groin. Irvine gasped and pulled his face away.

"_No, Zack…_" he was barely able to whisper it. Zack only turn Irvine face back to him and continued to kiss and caress him.

Irvine continued to whimper and struggle. He did want Zack, he did…just not like this. Not when he was drunk out of his mind. Not when he wasn't even sure _who_ he was trying to sleep with.

Irvine gasped when he felt the cool air hit his lower regions as his boxers were pulled swiftly away.

Zack only kissed him in response and Irvine continued to struggle in return.

Then Irvine cried out in pain as two fingers where shoved into him unexpectedly.

He whimpered, still struggling and Zack tried to console him, with words Irvine felt were false, as Zack continued to stretch him painfully. Then just as the pain subsided and Zack removed his fingers, a ripping pain scorched through Irvine, as he screamed out in agony, he felt himself tear apart from the inside as large intrusion forced itself inside of him. Tears fell free from his eyes in a never ending fall as Zack moved inside of him, and kissed him sweetly. There was no pleasure for Irvine, only pain and more pain as Zack quickened his pace. Irvine had never felt so much pain in his life, he trembled and cried silently. Then Zack stiffened and leaned to Irvine ear and whispered, "_I love you…Cloud._"

Irvine went stiff and numb as Zack came into him. He's eyes were wide in shock as tears continued to fall from them.

_No…he didn't…he couldn't…_

Irvine closed his eyes tightly and tried to push Zack away but Zack seemed to only become heaver over him, pinning him down.

"No!" he cried out weakly, "You bastard, let me go!" He heard only light breathing in response and knew Zack was gone. He was dead to the world and wasn't going to wake up until dawn. Irvine whimpered more as he felt Zack still within him.

_Why, why ,why? Why did this happen? Why me, why now, why…did you have to say __his __name…Why?_

Irvine cried quietly as he felt his heart break into two and then shatter into a million pieces.

He didn't sleep with Irvine out of desperation, because he was drunk or wanted it. It wasn't as if he didn't know who it was and just wanted it. It was the fact he used him in place of Cloud.

_Why did you have to do this to me Zack? Or was it you Shiva? Am I just not allowed to live loving him from afar with hope? Do you have to make everything shatter for me, ever single dream…I'll never have you Zack…I'll never be more than a substitute if anything…we cant be anything more than friends…I get that now…_

_But…_

Irvine thought as his spent body pulled him to sleep, _It doesn't change anything…because I'll always love you…_

***

He dreamt of nothing but darkness until he woke.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by the morning light burning his eyes. He groaned covering his eyes until they adjusted a bit and then opened them. He laid there looking about him as the nights events rushed back to him.

_So that's why I'm here…_ he thought with no emotion.

He noticed the weight on his body from the night before was gone and looked to his side and noticed Zack sleeping next to him, peacefully.

Irvine's eyes stung with tears as he moved quickly to leave the bed, but upon standing he fell straight to his knees and pain pounded through him. Irvine closed his eyes tightly,

_Oh my God, that hurts…  
_

Irvine slowly made it to his feet and forced himself to walk down the hall to the shower.

While he showered he planned the morning. He already decided he wasn't going to tell Zack what had happened and hope the other man didn't remember any of it. He couldn't handle Zack's guilt along with his own pain, he was afraid if Zack tried to console him, he might just fall apart.

"_I love you…__Cloud._"

Irvine shuddered within the shower, though it was still warm. He sighed as the warm shower water was mixed with the salty water from his own eyes, hoping he could hold himself together until he left.

Irvine exited the shower, dried off, and made his way down to Zack's laundry room to borrow some clothes. It still hurt horribly to walk but he did his best to walk as normally as he could, so Zack wouldn't notice.

After dressing he made his way back to the bathroom to search the medicine cabinet for anything he could give Zack for his hangover.

Even after everything that had happen, Irvine was still worried if Zack was going to be alright after having so much to drink. He knew one thing for sure though, he would not be feeling well, at all. So Irvine resisted the urge to leave immediately this morning to make sure Zack was alright first. Then he could leave.

To Irvine's relief Zack did have some medicine to help hangovers. He grabbed what he needed from the box of medicine and got Zack a glass of water and made his way down to the bedroom to wake Zack, make sure he was alright, give him the pills, and leave.

To Irvine's surprise though, Zack was already awake. The raven hair man was sitting up in bed, blankets pooled around his waist, and a hand to his head, most likely from his obvious headache, as he looked about himself looking lost.

"Oh. I'm surprised you're up already." Irvine said half to himself and half to Zack to announce his presence. Zack's eyes turned on him and went wide with shock and disbelief maybe…a little pain as well? Irvine wasn't sure but he tried to ignore it as he made his way to Zack.

"Did…something happen last night, Irvine?" He asked in a tone that was both worried and a little panicked.

Irvine held himself well and looked neutral as he responded, "Yeah, you got plastered."

Zack blushed slightly from what Irvine assumed to be embarrassment but then went on, "No, I mean, I remember that but…did something happen afterwards? Did I do something to you?"

Irvine was a little surprised at his directness, _Did I do something to you?, _but remained looking unfazed on the surface as he replied, "No, you dragged me down into a puddle on the way here and then passed out when we got here. If that's what you meant by _do something to me_, then yeah. But no, nothing happened." Irvine handed Zack the pills and the water, "Here take those, you're hung-over, and probably feel pretty awful." _Like I do…_

Zack looked to the water for a moment, seeming to be in thought, then shot his head back up to look to Irvine and said, "You're lying! Something did happen."

Irvine blinked at his friend and then composed him self and replied, "No, Zack, nothing happened. Just take the medicine."

"Please tell me what I did, Irvine. Please?"

"_Nothing_ happened, Zack! Just take the freakin pill!"

Zack paused for a moment watching Irvine. Then downcast his eyes and took the medicine, then, setting the glass on his nightstand, looked back to Irvine wearily, "Irvine…Did…I rape you?"

Irvine just blinked in utter shock then shook his head and turned to leave, "Don't be stupid."

"Irvine!"

Irvine turned at the doorway to the room, "Nothing happened that I didn't want!" Irvine tried to calm down and went on, "I'm fine. We had sex, no big deal."

"There's blood on my blankets."

"…So it got a little rough. I'm a guy, I can take it."

"I hurt you."

"I'm _fine_."

Zack looked down ashamed. Then he gripped on his hair in frustration, "Shiva, I so sorry, Irvine…I'm like the biggest ass ever…"

"No stop that. You're making me feel awful." Irvine looked around distressed, trying to find a way out before Zack realized the full truth, "Look Zack. I have work today. I need to get going or else I'm going to be late. Nothing happened besides some casual drunken sex between friends. I'm fine. Now…just take care of your self and I'll call you soon." Irvine flashed him a smile that wasn't real and turned and tried to walk as normally as he could to the door and left.

Outside the apartment Irvine called into work. He was in no shape for it today. He left the complex and made his way walking, painfully, home. He slept the whole day. But he didn't dream…

* * *

So there's what happened through Irvine's POV.

I really had to fix things between this one and the last one during revising since i had mixed up Irvine's and Zack's POV in one part since I wrote them at the same time basically xD all's well now though. Everyone has their own thoughts again.

The next chapter will come in from Cloud's POV. That chapter I have finished but still needs to be revised.

Thank you for those who are reading this. I hope you are enjoying it.

Also please review. I love to know what you think.

Take care!


	4. Chapter 3: Cloud Choices

Thank again for the review on the last chapter TheCupcakeMonster.

Sorry for the wait, here's Cloud's POV. Enjoy.

* * *

_All The Broken Pieces_

_Of My Heart_

Chapter 3: Cloud - Choices

_There was a lot of things cloud could ignore, or just blatantly not take notice of. And one thing was Zack's advances on him since his arrival at campus._

_It seemed normal to the blond that the man who was once his neighbor and best friend wanted to spend so much time with him, since they reencountered each other in the 6 years they had been apart. Since Zack left for collage._

_Now here Cloud was, a freshman, at the same collage and he never really forgot that. Since he saw the man about every free minute of his day. Not that it really bothered Cloud. He loved Zack, he was a great friend, and he enjoyed spending time with him._

_So whether it was intentional or not, Cloud pointed ignored the way his childhood friend eyed him up in down, slightly jaw slacked, when they had first seen each other._

_He ignored how Zack took him out frequently to the mall and bought him things. Zack was just that kind of person. Or even when Zack would bring him to the movies almost every weekend and drape an arm around his shoulders. Cloud took it simply as a comforting gesture or that Zack just wanted to rest his arm around the back of his chair, to be more comfortable of course. And even though they went out to eat at least twice a week, it was fine since Cloud probably would have done the same on his own if Zack hadn't. Also the restaurants they went to were overly fancy, just casual local diners. The kid he went to all the time with his other friends, so what was so strange about Zack bring him here also? Nothing. As far as Cloud could see._

_Even those time Zack ghosted his lips over the blondes, Cloud thought he was just teasing him for a reaction. Zack wouldn't be taken notice of him like that. They had been friends too long, it just wouldn't happen. Zack had known him in his awkward child and early teen years so why would he?_

_But then two months passed and noting changed. Until the day Zack decided to take him to his apartment for dinner. _

_It wasn't Cloud's first time to Zack's apartment so he saw nothing wrong with it. But when Zack opened the door for him and Cloud stepped inside, he noticed a few strange things. Like the fact that Cloud had set up a table in his living room, which wasn't very strange since they would need somewhere to eat. But the table was covered in a nice red cloth, which may have been just a cheap thing he picked up just incase they made a mess, nothing stange really. But then he had candles set on the table. Unlit, long candle sticks. Perhaps he was worried the power would go out?_

_There was also a single red rose in the center of the table, between the tall candle sticks and in a clear vase. Cloud didn't know what to think of that._

_The table was set nicely with plates and utensils and there was a really good smell coming from the kitchen causing Cloud's stomach to rumble._

_Zack laughed lightly and took Cloud's sweater from him. It was getting Closer to winter, so it had been getting colder lately. Zack removed his own jacket and set them both aside as he took Cloud by the hand, and giving him one of his beautiful smiles, brought him to his seat at the table._

_Cloud sat, a little uncomfortably from the intimacy of the dinner setting. Becoming even more intimate when Zack lit the tall candles. He look to Cloud and smiled at him, leaning down to peck his cheek, "I'm going to get the food." he said as he moved to take Cloud's and his own plate before standing straight and walking off._

_Alone for the moment Cloud's min began reeling. What was Zack planning? Or more precisely, _had_ been planning. _

_The raven haired man returned only a moment later with a smile and two filled plates. He set one in front of Cloud and took his own back to his own seat. Cloud looked from Zack to his plate with smell terrific he had to admit. There was, was looked like, tender roast beef in gravy, potatoes also with gravy, and mixed seasoned vegetables, which Cloud found on trying, very good as well._

"_Wow Zack", Cloud recalled himself saying, "This is really good." He looked up and eyed Zack suspiciously. "When did _you_ learn how to cook?"_

_Zack went from smiling over the compliment to blinking and then to laughing, "Thanks Cloud. Actually my mom taught me. She said 'everyman should know how to cook a decent meal,' she also mentioned how it would help woo the ladies." he added with a wink that caused Cloud to blush and look down at his plate. What did that mean? Was Cloud the supposed 'lady' in this scenario? But that would mean…no that would be silly. Zack wouldn't-"Cloud?"_

_Cloud looked up to meet Zack's gaze, which had turned much more serious that it had been a moment ago. The look he was giving was causing Cloud to feel nervous. _

_What is that look for?_

"_Yes?" he replied after a moment._

_Zack closed his eyes for a moment and seemed to take in a breath. Then, reopening them, his eyes had a determined look to them as he reached across the table and took Cloud's hand. "Cloud." Then he paused and shook his head, "I was going to wait until after dinner to ask but…I don't think I'd have the courage. Right now I do and…" he looked back up to meet Cloud's confused, worried gaze._

"_Cloud… Ever since I first saw you on campus after all this time… You grew up _so_ much. You're so beautiful and witty and cute and I… I just wanted to spend ever minute I could with you. _

"_At first I thought I was just doing it all out of the same feelings of friendship I had for you when you were younger but… No, I realized I was looking at you differently and I realized I wanted to become closer to you. Closer than we are now. Cloud I want to start seeing you…_dating_ you._

"_I've fallen for you and I would like to have the chance to see if you could fall for me as well._

"_So Cloud, will you go out with me? Will you become my boyfriend?"_

_The silence that filled the room after that moment was so strong you could have heard a pin drop. The only sound that filled the room was the sound of the traffic outside the complex. _

_Cloud just sat there in the silence, shell-shocked. 'Cloud will you be my boyfriend?' The question rang through Cloud's ears over and over and he stared at Zack, unsure what to do. _

_Slowly he notice the determined look Zack held up begin to fall into a worried look._

"_Cloud?"_

_Cloud blinked and shook his head and pinched the space between his brows. He spoke barely above a whisper, "I cant…"_

_Zack got up from his seat and moved to Cloud's side. "What is it Cloud? What did you say?"_

"_I…cant…"_

"_Cant what, Cloud?"_

_Cloud lifter his head away from his hand and looked to Zack. "I cant…go out with you, Zack."_

_Cloud watch as Zack's face went from shock to…a sad look he couldn't really describe._

"_I'm sorry Zack. I…I just don't feel the same…"_

_Zack nodded slightly and looked to the ground in front of him. _

_As Zack sat there, on one knee, by Cloud's side, head bowed, silence filled the room once again. And in that very silence, Cloud thought he could hear the sound of Zack's heart as it broke…_

_And it hurt so much that…he thought he broke a little from the sound as well… _

_--_

Cloud sighed looking up to the ceiling of his dorm room as he laid sprawled on his back in bed with his arms crossed behind his head.

What had happened with Zack yesterday, just wouldn't stop replying through Cloud's mind and neither would the questions:

_Had he been too blunt? Too direct? Too...cold?_

_Should he had given Zack a chance, even though he had little interest in him?_

It just seemed like a waste of time and effort when he knew his feelings for Zack wouldn't grow, wouldn't change in the least. They could be nothing more than friends. No matter how hard they tried.

Cloud just couldn't lead Zack on like that. He had to end it there. He didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings anymore than he had too.

He loved Zack, he was like a big brother to him. They had grown up together side-by-side as neighbors for the longest time until Zack had moved away. Then they hadn't seen or spoken with each other again until Cloud started attending this college. They had spent the next couple weeks catching up and finding out all that had to be known between two friends, after so long apart. But Cloud could see it, even then, even though he refused to admit it, he could see it in Zack's eyes. He could see that he had fallen in love. In love with Cloud.

Cloud wasn't sure if these were old feelings he had never noticed in Zack before or if they were new ones formed from them being reunited. But he could see them, shinning brightly in Zack's eyes, yet Cloud refused to believe it.

And now Zack was hurting and it was all his fault.

Cloud let out another sigh, this one, more drawn-out and exhausted.

Then a pillow hit him.

"Would you stop all that sighing? You're interruption my beauty sleep."

Cloud smirked, pulling the pillow away as he sat up and looked over to his dorm mate and close childhood friend.

"I thought you were suppose to be studying."

The boy across the room from Cloud laid on his own bed, on his back, with a notebook covering his face.

The boy lifted the notebook off his face, carefully, exposing his beyond platinum hair, cerulean eyes, and perfect, yet feminine face. Then he turned his lovely face to look to Cloud for a moment before closing his eyes and shrugging, "Studying, sleeping. Both start with an 'S'." he stated as he turned away and began to recover his face with the notebook, "Close enough."

Right before he was able to fully cover his face, Cloud had gone over, straddled his friend, ripped the notebook out of his hands and leaned over him smirking, "It's not good if you don't study when you need to, Ri. It's a good way to fail."

Riku looked to Cloud with slight annoyance from both his notebook being taken away and the comment Cloud had made. "Oh. Don't even try and get on _my_ case. My grades are way better than yours, so you're not really qualified to start giving _me '_advice'. So just give me the notebook and get lost."

Cloud pouted at him, "Oh c'mon, Ri. Enough with the PMS shit. Lets go out and do something."

Riku made a grab for his notebook but Cloud pulled it just out of reach as he did so.

"I am _not_ 'PMSing'. Its not even possible for me to be since I'm not a _girl_."

Riku tried again but Cloud still managed to keep it out of reach.

"But you look like one. So you must _be_ one."

Riku began to glow red with anger, "Where the hell do you get your logic!? If looking feminine automatically makes you female, then so are you!"

"Ohh, that _really_ hurt, Ri." Cloud replied sarcastically.

"Cloud!" Riku growled, shoving Cloud off of him. Then he moved at Cloud, basically tackling him, trying to get his notebook back.

Cloud only laughed as he continued to wrestle with Riku attempting to keep the notebook out of Riku's grasp.

They had been friends since preschool, the three of them: Cloud, Haru, and Riku. And Cloud recalled, as Riku retrieved the notebook and cracked Cloud over the head with it, walking away, that Riku hadn't always been such a bitch. He used to be really cool and fun. Well…actually he still was, except for whenever Cloud would speak to him, he'd just turn into a total asshole and then just go right back to his normal self with Haru. It bothered Cloud immensely. It started sometime during middle school and for the longest time, Cloud had _no_ idea why Riku was acting like this, but then when it came to the point where it threatened to end his and Riku's friendship, Haru stepped in and spoke to Cloud alone one day:

"_Riku doesn't hate you, Cloud."_

"_Then what else could it be!? He's always such an ass --You know what? I don't care, it doesn't matter why he's this way. I'm sick of it and I'm -"_

"_He's in love with you."_

"…_what?"_

"_Riku is in love with you, Cloud, but he's too scared to tell you, too ashamed. He's afraid of -and completely sure you will- reject him. So, since he's so bad at hiding his feelings he turns straight to anger. He's trying o protect himself. He's scared of you finding out. He's scared of being hurt. So he's doing everything he can to prevent it. He's trying _not _to love you but he cant, so, he takes it out on you. But he does loves you, Cloud. As a friend and more. He doesn't want to lose you. _Please_, Cloud…don't end your friendship with Riku. It wont help either of you, and you'll regret it later on."_

Cloud couldn't believe it when he heard it and still couldn't. Riku _loved_ him? _Him_?

When? How? Why?

But Riku _was_ beautiful and Cloud couldn't quiet place his feelings for him. Not like he could with Zack. No…With Riku, he had no idea where he stood with him and _if_ he wanted more. But Cloud knew one thing, from the way Riku has been acting lately, (treating him like total scum) that he must still loved him, and quite a bit.

Then Cloud realized, as he thought about it, that it wouldn't be so bad. Being with Riku, that is. He may actually enjoy it. Not to mention he was _really_ tired of leading people on and having people constantly hit on him and ask him out.

Maybe starting something with Riku wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it was worth a shot.

"Hey, Ri!" Cloud called out to Riku from his current seat on the floor. Riku spun around and replied angrily, "_What_!?"

Cloud smiled.

Maybe it would be the best decision he ever made. Maybe this choice…

"Be my boyfriend."

Riku could only blink at him, "W-W…What?"

Would be the one choice, that he wouldn't regret…

"I _said_, I want you to be my boyfriend, Ri. So will you?"

"Don't fuck with me, Cloud." Riku warned.

Cloud held up his hands defensively, "I'm not! I'm being completely honest, totally serious. I want to go out with you, Ri. Will you give it a shot? Will you give me a chance?"

Riku just stood there, flabbergasted, for the longest time. So long that Cloud had gotten to his feet to go to him and take him by the shoulders. He shook Riku lightly, "Riku?"

When he got no response, he shook him lightly again, moving closer…

* * *

Sorry for how short this chapter is, but I cut it off because it flows better the rest of the way through Riku's POV...or maybe it just seemed like the right time to switch POVs xD whichever. But I hope you enjoyed this.

Sorry but it might take a little bit for the next chapter since I need to fix and rewrite quiet a bit of it and also finish it. But! if it makes anyone happy...there might be a leomon~

Take care and review if you like. I appriciate it ^^


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